My thoughts on Evil

We've heard a lot in the past week about evil. With the horrific shooting in a Connecticut elementary school  killing 26 innocent people; many of them very young children, its not particularly surprising that term has been bandied about. By the media, by pundits, by people on the street; even by the vice-President of the NRA - who spoke of 'good guys' v. 'bad guys' and the evil person who committed these crimes - in a terrifying show of just how outrageous the US gun lobby is (more on that later...).

But I don't believe in evil; not in this sense anyway. Call me idealistic, but I do not believe we can term people 'good' and 'evil'. I passionately feel that humanity is essentially good, but that some are corrupted by outside influences - taking from Blake, they are born innocent, but through experience become corrupted. Some commit acts that are unspeakable, disgusting and awful - but they are not evil. Talking in the absolutes of good and evil shuts down all discussion; it allows us to say 'this person is evil, was always evil, and therefore we have no duty to assess why they committed these acts, or what we could have done to prevent them'. If we label someone evil, then we feel justified in locking them away with no attempt to rehabilitate them or; in the case of the US and other countries around the world, kill them in state sanctioned execution chambers. We feel justified and vindicated.

Talking in these dichotomies harks back to a time when religion ruled the world; when explanation was unnecessary in the face of absolute faith. The Christian religion, and the Catholic church in particular, were very good at shutting down all discussion by talking about Evil. They could simply say this is wrong, it is wrong because it is evil, and there is no need for further discussion. In an age where we are bombarded with knowledge every day, where we are consistently cynical, it is against the grain to do the same. Unfortunately, tabloid headlines, talk show discussions and broadcast news regularly label people as evil. I understand it, its easier then suggesting society had something to do with it, that perhaps we need to look at ourselves and our culture, that perhaps there were underlying issues with this person.

With evil, we can lock someone away and ignore them, without feeling guilty. They won't ever change, so why should we help them. I, however, believe in redemption, in rehabilitation, in the possibilities for everyone to be good. We need to begin to see crime as a product of society or of mental instability; petty theft usually comes from poverty and a poor education, horrific murders often come from underlying mental health issues that have long been left untreated. These people are not innately evil; yes, they have committed wrong and should be punished, but they should be given the chance to show that they are good again.

Where does this fit into the debate about guns? Well, unfortunately, the US gun lobby still talks this way. Yes, it blames violent video games and movies (perhaps something we should look at - although in many other countries this isn't such a problem), but it still talks of good guys v bad guys. And this is shrewd for their motives. If people believe that there is evil out there, evil that cannot be changed, then they will feel the need for protection. And so, buy guns. Buy hundreds of guns, with thousands of rounds of ammunition, because there is nothing else they can do. They will believe that guns are not bad, in fact guns are good, they just happen to turn evil in the hands of those we label evil. That is why they suggest 'good guys' should be in schools with guns; because crime only comes from those who are evil, we can trust everyone else with guns. At best naive, at worst incredibly dangerous.

And it suits their interests further not to look at the underlying causes of violent crime. The wealthy who are in charge of the NRA would never suggest that poverty or lack of opportunity create crime lest their wealth is redistributed to help people. The relative cheapness and ease of access to guns only compounds the problem; in the UK we have the same problems of disgusting wealth inequalities, gangs and lack of opportunity - but our rates of violent crime are far lower.

So, this Christmas period, lets not talk of evil. Lets talk of the things we can do in society to give people a chance, to help them, to give them something to aspire to that isn't gang membership or gun ownership. And let's see the best in people; that every single person in this world has the capacity and capability to be exceptional, to succeed, to be good.

Being Home

I've now been home for over a week. I've spent a lot of this week catching up with friends, answering the same questions with all of them; 'How was it?', 'Did you have an amazing time?', 'Do you love America?', 'When are you going back?' and, my favourite right now, 'What are you doing next?'.

I don't resent people asking; in fact, it is a great opportunity for me to chew their ears off and talk endlessly about how brilliant everything about my time in America was. A good friend asked me while we were driving down to Brighton how my time was and what I did - I continued to speak about it for the entire hour and a half journey. But, most of the time, the question is asked in a situation in which I cannot speak for that long; and so I can't capture just how wonderful it was. My vague attempts to say 'it was the greatest experience of my life' clearly falls on interested ears; but in that one sentences I cannot convey how much I learnt, how many wonderful people I met, the way it changed me, the immense feeling of pleasure and happiness at victory. I want these people, these wonderful people who are interested in what I have done, excited for me, pleased at my success to be able to share in the experiences that I have had - but they cannot.

This is perhaps the hardest part of going away for a longer period and returning - you have had incredible experiences that have changed you; experiences that you have not shared with others at home. These changes, to them, have come from an alien place and, if you are not careful, could result in a change in your relationships if not handled well. Luckily, I feel I have a fantastic group of friends around me who are willing to see that America has changed me, definitely for the better, but that I'm still the person they knew underneath.

Unfortunately, my bank balance and lack of transport means that I can't surround myself with these friends at all times - leaving periods of unemployment that are hard to fill adequately. Going from three months of constant stimulation to very little is incredibly hard to deal with. So, I'm attempting to answer that question 'What's next?'.

I went to America feeling like I knew what I was going to do next. I come back knowing much better what it is I am good at, but having less of an idea how I best want to utilise these skills. Currently applying for campaigns jobs with charities - I need to work with people, for something I believe in, and in a role that challenges me every day. I'm pretty sure I want it to be in London - a place I very much need to move into asap for my sanity, dating and social life - but I'm not averse to other parts of the country/world. I guess that's what this time is for. To compute everything I did, find jobs I want to apply for and start living my home life again.

That - and using the excuse of seeing people again as a reason to spend too much money and go and enjoy the Christmas season with them. Which I've probably done enough already in 9 days... 

Farewell America

So, here it is. My final few hours in America. I've so far been able to stave off the tears, but I fear that's not going to last for long. Has it really only been three months? For some reason it feels like I've been here forever. Fairfax genuinely feels like home. The friends I've made feel like they've been friends for a really long time. Yes, three months has flown by when I think of it, but when I consider everything I've done here - well, how I packed that into less than 90 days I will never know.

This has, so far, been the greatest experience of my life. And it is the perfect end to a year that has, quite literally, changed me beyond recognition. I have learnt more about myself in three months than I have for a very long time, understanding that I work best when dealing with people; that I function well under pressure and that I can keep myself incredibly motivated if it is for something I believe in. That I can make friends quickly in any situation I find myself. That I am happiest, truly happiest, when I am busy; when I have a cause; when I'm surrounded by people that value my work, friendship and energy. That I can be trusted to get the work done, even with insanely short deadlines and incredibly pressurised environments. I rose to the challenge every time and, although could have been calmer, I succeeded at every chance. I am utterly proud of myself for what I achieved here in Northern Virginia.

But my greatest achievement was not at work. Not entirely. The thing I am most proud of is the number of wonderful friends I have made (OK, here come the tears...). As a social animal, making friends is something I have never really struggled with, but the bonds I have built with a good number of people will endure for a long time. I have a new family in the Johnson's, the most wonderful people I could ever have hoped to work for and spend time with. I have friends ranging in age from 20 to 86. I have relationships with people from California to Georgia. I have met soul mates. I have friends in professions I didn't even know existed. I know that I will see many of them again; I am more sure of this than most things.

And I will be back. There is no doubt about it. Whether in a year or five, I will return to Fairfax and reunite with old friends. A part of me hopes a job in Washington, DC will appear and I can live here, at least for a few years, but I won't hold out for it. I have fallen in love with America, I can't quite place why, but I have. I will find it incredibly difficult to know that my friends will move on, find other campaigns to be a part of, find other interesting people to meet. But, with an ever shrinking world, and global communications a common reality, I am sure that we will remain in touch.

For now, though, I will keep the memories of everything we did together safely in my mind. Because they are incredibly powerful memories, filled with happiness, excitement, love, passion and dedication. And I will remain excited about seeing all of my wonderful friends and family back home. I can't wait to see them, to share my experiences with them, to make more memories, to rekindle great friendships and to make new ones.

There really is nothing more important to me in this world than the friendships and relationships I make. These I will treasure above all things.

New Orleans - shattering my romantic dreams

Now, don't get me wrong; I do love this city and what it stands for. I fell in love with it almost as soon as I started wandering around the French Quarter, listening to wonderful musicians on the street corners and the beautiful views of the Mississippi as it winds its way round to the Gulf. What really cemented my love was a night out on Frenchmen Street (the clued up tourists' hang-out). With people I had just met on the Streetcar - not named Desire unfortunately - I found myself in a bar called the Spotted Cat. Here, and in many places on the street, a truly exceptional jazz band played while people drank and danced. I met a group of people from California who immediately became great friends - if only for an hour. Listening to that music and soaking up the atmosphere, I realised how wonderful this hotch-potch town could be.

However, that realisation came with a tinge of sadness. Sadness because I feel like New Orleans is past its glorious heyday of easy-going, exceptional people from all walks of life ready to experience incredible food, music and dancing. Walking the streets of the French Quarter at night you can see this loss of the romantic world conjured up by writers and musicians for decades. Loud, brutish, mostly white wealthy people come to Bourbon street not to delve into its history, but to drink themselves stupid on outrageous cocktails and stumble around the streets drunk in a fashion worse than many a Brighton hag-do. Hassled at every opportunity by people selling trashy rubbish or women on the streets trying to get you into disgusting looking strip joints, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I can't fault the people of New Orleans - incredibly friendly, interesting and vibrant - for catering to these people; a city so dependent on tourism has to adapt to what is wanted. But it really did just make me sad.

A good example of this is the number of large groups of men staying at the hostel who aren't interested in the depth of culture that New Orleans has to offer - they simply want to get pissed, get laid and get high. Perhaps I'm missing something and I'm just a square; but I want to be here to enjoy myself and throw myself into the culture of the city, not worry about walking through the main thoroughfares for fear of being set upon by wasted ass-holes. Here was an example of everything I despise about wealthy western culture - an attitude that simple says, 'We have the money, you do what we want'.

Luckily, the city is saved by those places outside the French Quarter. Frenchmen Street, though becoming another Bourbon, is currently an incredibly exciting place with bars offering good beer and fantastic music - and people who want to enjoy this properly. Even if you get off the main tourist parts of the Quarter you can find something good - Preservation Hall is a jazz-Mecca and there is some wonderful food to be had if you look hard enough. A trip on the St Charles Streetcar to the Garden District and Magazine Street also brings you to beautiful neighbourhoods, chic boutiques and fabulous bars and restaurants untouched by the masses that descend on Bourbon Street. 


Historically, New Orleans is fascinating, with its mix of French, Spanish, British, African and American influences - but I bet the majority of people visiting here don't know that. Its architecture, its food, its music and its entire ethos stem from this mix; when you have lived with so many different types of people and cultures how can you be anything but easy-going and liberal. Perhaps its liberal attitudes to alcohol, sex and other of life's vices are its downfall; when you're one of few areas that allow alcohol on the streets you're bound to get some people going too far. Unfortunately, though, these people are the ones that come and take-over for a few days, paying no attention to cultural heritage and then leaving; not the wonderful, caring, interesting people of the city itself. 

I came to New Orleans with the romantic vision of a place packed with wonderful food, music and culture that writers such as Tennessee Williams and songs by jazz musicians evoke. I leave with a feeling that I've done my best to experience this before it is ruined  for good by white, western, wealthy tourism as so many places are.