Being Home

I've now been home for over a week. I've spent a lot of this week catching up with friends, answering the same questions with all of them; 'How was it?', 'Did you have an amazing time?', 'Do you love America?', 'When are you going back?' and, my favourite right now, 'What are you doing next?'.

I don't resent people asking; in fact, it is a great opportunity for me to chew their ears off and talk endlessly about how brilliant everything about my time in America was. A good friend asked me while we were driving down to Brighton how my time was and what I did - I continued to speak about it for the entire hour and a half journey. But, most of the time, the question is asked in a situation in which I cannot speak for that long; and so I can't capture just how wonderful it was. My vague attempts to say 'it was the greatest experience of my life' clearly falls on interested ears; but in that one sentences I cannot convey how much I learnt, how many wonderful people I met, the way it changed me, the immense feeling of pleasure and happiness at victory. I want these people, these wonderful people who are interested in what I have done, excited for me, pleased at my success to be able to share in the experiences that I have had - but they cannot.

This is perhaps the hardest part of going away for a longer period and returning - you have had incredible experiences that have changed you; experiences that you have not shared with others at home. These changes, to them, have come from an alien place and, if you are not careful, could result in a change in your relationships if not handled well. Luckily, I feel I have a fantastic group of friends around me who are willing to see that America has changed me, definitely for the better, but that I'm still the person they knew underneath.

Unfortunately, my bank balance and lack of transport means that I can't surround myself with these friends at all times - leaving periods of unemployment that are hard to fill adequately. Going from three months of constant stimulation to very little is incredibly hard to deal with. So, I'm attempting to answer that question 'What's next?'.

I went to America feeling like I knew what I was going to do next. I come back knowing much better what it is I am good at, but having less of an idea how I best want to utilise these skills. Currently applying for campaigns jobs with charities - I need to work with people, for something I believe in, and in a role that challenges me every day. I'm pretty sure I want it to be in London - a place I very much need to move into asap for my sanity, dating and social life - but I'm not averse to other parts of the country/world. I guess that's what this time is for. To compute everything I did, find jobs I want to apply for and start living my home life again.

That - and using the excuse of seeing people again as a reason to spend too much money and go and enjoy the Christmas season with them. Which I've probably done enough already in 9 days...