The Importance of Friendships

Throughout this blog I've written a lot about the people I've met and spent time with. The people I call my friends. I'm incredibly lucky to have so many people scattered around the world that I can call upon for comfort, for a good time, for simple company. But, I'm often left sad and disappointed. Sad because I don't see them enough even though they live in the same city as me, sad because those who've occupied the 'best friend' spot in the past are now reduced to an occasional text. Disappointed because, though I have a large number of people I could see, I'm still stuck in alone on a Friday night, or have only one friend I can walk to see.

However, over the past two weeks I have been reminded of how wonderful my friendships are. Having reunited myself with a number of old friends, resolved differences between very close friends and helped a good friend through a difficult time, I can safely say that I am incredibly lucky to have people in my life like these.

There's the first person I met at university, the most caring person I have ever known. We've lived together, spent hours in each other's company and lived through each other's hardest times. We live at opposite ends of the country and do not keep in touch with each other as regularly as we should. But, whatever happens, and however long its been, our relationship is rekindled with the first sight of each other. We know how the other thinks, are comfortable even in silence, and understand that which is most important to each other. Whenever I see her, I am reunited with a whole group of friends who share something with me; a strong and undying love for her. I am comfortable spending time with her family and her friends because of this shared love. Leaving her is never hard, because I know that we will always be friends. She brings the best out in me, challenges me to be better, and keeps me positive.

Then there's the sole survivor of a group of friends with whom I spent a lot of my time at university. We live in the same city; yet we don't see each other enough. We are regularly in contact however, solving each others relationship problems with an knowledge of each other that most others don't have. We have an easy, sarcastic and sometimes offensive banter that runs through our every discourse. We also have passionate arguments about our lack of contact or relative inability to meet up. But these arguments are short lived, resolved through a telephone call; or a lot of wine. I love her dearly.

The two closest friends with whom I currently spend the most time. Brought together by a common passion for theatre, we differ in age, but we are closer than many. Yet, we have been consistently arguing since my return from America. Bickering, like kids. Luckily, this has been mostly resolved, with a drunken night together and a lot of heart pouring. These two I value; for believing in me, for challenging me, for helping me develop into the person I love to be over the past year.

There are the married couple that inspire me every time I see them; with their talent, their love for one another, their fight for LGBT issues. The friends that have shared the start of my career with me; who believe in what I can do and push me to do it. The friends I made in America that shared one of the most important things I have ever done; friends I may never see again, but that will always live with me. The friends that reminded me why I love performing. The friends that shared the greatest theatrical experience of my life; united from all walks of life by a belief in community. My oldest friend, who shares a birthday with me, who has survived so many challenges in her life that I couldn't be more proud of her.

I am an extrovert. I need to be around these people in order to have energy, to be content, to feel good about myself. Sometimes I might put pressure on these friends to see me. Sometimes I may not see them for months. Sometimes, I might even be horrible to them. But, they are everything that makes me who I am. The friendships and relationships I have are as essential to my character as my upbringing, my background, my genetics. Without them, I couldn't be the person I am today.

So know this dear friends. I may not be the best person all the time. I may be hard to put up with, prone to ridiculous mood swings and unable to show my real affection for you. But stick by me, because you are all incredibly important to me. Even if we haven't spoken in ages, the friendships we have had have formed me. So thank you.

A Eulogy for a Year

And so, 2012, you have come to an end. We passed our final moments together in a foreign land, halfway up a mountain, with a tired and aching body from the days activities. No fanfare, no drunken party, no screaming at the top of my lungs. Just watching the minutes trickle by, with a glass of red wine in hand, sitting and chatting with family and friends. A fitting end to an exceptional year. The highs you provided far outweighed the lows; with your help I became a person I enjoyed being around and had confidence in again.

You've had so many highlights that its hard to break them down. You provided me with the opportunity to revive my love of the theatre, and perform in two of the plays I have been most proud of. Vernon God Little was a production that restored my faith in the theatre, and brought me a whole bunch of new and close friendships. Epidemic went further; allowing me to sing and dance again on stage for the first time in ages - reminding me that I do have talent, that I work hard, that I love meeting new people. Its subject matter allowed me to think about mental health, depression and obesity - making me confront my own feelings and body image. Again, it introduced me to a whole range of fantastically talented, caring, exciting people.

You gave me the chance to be part of a few once in a lifetime events. Whilst not strictly a royalist, the Diamond Jubilee was an incredible testament to a woman who has devoted her life to this country, and I was completely caught up in the pomp and circumstance of it all. Coming, as it did, after the highs of Epidemic it perfectly set off the summer. A summer which was dominated by the greatest national event I've ever been a part of - the Olympic and Paralympic Games. Not only did I go to events themselves, but I devoured the coverage all over the media. It was an incredible chance to see the UK rally together, to have a city show its love for one another, and to have a world focus its attention on us.

And, you gave me the chance to travel. Skiing to France, Sailing in Sicily, and the greatest experience of my life - three months working and travelling in the Eastern United States. Here I met fantastic people, worked harder than I ever have before, and elected a President. I developed my skills (skills built up through a wonderful year with THT), forged new and lasting connections and experienced new cultures.

Through World Pride 2012 you made me realise that being involved in the gay community isn't something I should shy away from, but embrace. You helped me go looking for companionship; I met guys I liked spending time with. I went to gay bars and clubs for the first time in years and enjoyed myself. I started to appreciate who I am and understand how it makes me who I am.

You introduced me to wonderful people, you developed friendships that were there before, you helped me work on friendships I'd had for years before. You were exciting, you were fun, you were certainly hard work; but you were worth it. You had set me up for better and better years to come.

And so it is goodbye 2012. You've been wonderful. But I won't dwell on your end, I will look forward with excitement to the years to come. 2013 already promises to be great; with a new production to get my teeth into, a development of my career, flying the nest for good. Its started well so far, I can only imagine it will get better and better.