Throughout this blog I've written a lot about the people I've met and spent time with. The people I call my friends. I'm incredibly lucky to have so many people scattered around the world that I can call upon for comfort, for a good time, for simple company. But, I'm often left sad and disappointed. Sad because I don't see them enough even though they live in the same city as me, sad because those who've occupied the 'best friend' spot in the past are now reduced to an occasional text. Disappointed because, though I have a large number of people I could see, I'm still stuck in alone on a Friday night, or have only one friend I can walk to see.
However, over the past two weeks I have been reminded of how wonderful my friendships are. Having reunited myself with a number of old friends, resolved differences between very close friends and helped a good friend through a difficult time, I can safely say that I am incredibly lucky to have people in my life like these.
There's the first person I met at university, the most caring person I have ever known. We've lived together, spent hours in each other's company and lived through each other's hardest times. We live at opposite ends of the country and do not keep in touch with each other as regularly as we should. But, whatever happens, and however long its been, our relationship is rekindled with the first sight of each other. We know how the other thinks, are comfortable even in silence, and understand that which is most important to each other. Whenever I see her, I am reunited with a whole group of friends who share something with me; a strong and undying love for her. I am comfortable spending time with her family and her friends because of this shared love. Leaving her is never hard, because I know that we will always be friends. She brings the best out in me, challenges me to be better, and keeps me positive.
Then there's the sole survivor of a group of friends with whom I spent a lot of my time at university. We live in the same city; yet we don't see each other enough. We are regularly in contact however, solving each others relationship problems with an knowledge of each other that most others don't have. We have an easy, sarcastic and sometimes offensive banter that runs through our every discourse. We also have passionate arguments about our lack of contact or relative inability to meet up. But these arguments are short lived, resolved through a telephone call; or a lot of wine. I love her dearly.
The two closest friends with whom I currently spend the most time. Brought together by a common passion for theatre, we differ in age, but we are closer than many. Yet, we have been consistently arguing since my return from America. Bickering, like kids. Luckily, this has been mostly resolved, with a drunken night together and a lot of heart pouring. These two I value; for believing in me, for challenging me, for helping me develop into the person I love to be over the past year.
There are the married couple that inspire me every time I see them; with their talent, their love for one another, their fight for LGBT issues. The friends that have shared the start of my career with me; who believe in what I can do and push me to do it. The friends I made in America that shared one of the most important things I have ever done; friends I may never see again, but that will always live with me. The friends that reminded me why I love performing. The friends that shared the greatest theatrical experience of my life; united from all walks of life by a belief in community. My oldest friend, who shares a birthday with me, who has survived so many challenges in her life that I couldn't be more proud of her.
I am an extrovert. I need to be around these people in order to have energy, to be content, to feel good about myself. Sometimes I might put pressure on these friends to see me. Sometimes I may not see them for months. Sometimes, I might even be horrible to them. But, they are everything that makes me who I am. The friendships and relationships I have are as essential to my character as my upbringing, my background, my genetics. Without them, I couldn't be the person I am today.
So know this dear friends. I may not be the best person all the time. I may be hard to put up with, prone to ridiculous mood swings and unable to show my real affection for you. But stick by me, because you are all incredibly important to me. Even if we haven't spoken in ages, the friendships we have had have formed me. So thank you.
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