But, why haven't I been before? Its not like I've hidden my sexuality or even shied away from it - everyone knows I'm gay and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just always had a problem with the term 'Pride', and the day itself. I found it hard to understand why I needed to extol my pride in something that I never chose, can't change, and that I don't let rule my life. I am so much more than gay, but sometimes I felt that celebrating pride would shove me into a tiny box where the only thing that mattered or that people saw was that I was gay. I came out in order to be more of myself, not so I could be labelled and boxed as a one-dimensional package.
I also felt that, at times, the militant campaigns run by certain parts of the gay rights movement harmed the cause; rather than making homosexuality seem normal and included, it set us apart and, whether deliberately or not, clearly made us different. I'm not advocating hiding, and there are things that do need to be shouted about, but forcing our sexuality down peoples' throats (sometimes literally!) can't have been good for inclusion. When a gay man can tell a girl to get out of the queue for a gay bar because she's straight, discrimination seems to have turned the other way.
However, with the equal marriage debate raging (and some pretty vitriolic stuff coming out of certain corners of society) I've started to feel the need to get more involved. I'm never going to be comfortable being boxed solely as a gay man, but I want to experience and live this part of me properly. I genuinely believe that the key to tolerance and acceptance is to live together properly, not to separate ourselves into ghettos where only one way of life is tolerated. But until there is total equality (we are so nearly there), I can fully understand why Pride is necessary to many. And anyway, who wouldn't want to go and watch a parade full of half-naked hunks and beautiful women?!
I don't know how open you are, Will -- I couldn't figure out you were gay during the whole run of our recent theatrical experience together; but maybe that is just because all the girls were swooning over you, and you are so unlike the stereotype. But then, isn't that the point?
ReplyDeleteYou write beautifully, sir, as I have told you before.I'm glad you are doing this blog.
It is very true that there are militant quarters of the gay rights movement who ARE stereotypical, too aggressive for my style, and sometimes indulge in reverse discrimination (though I don't like that term); but I don't think that can be helped, any more than it can be helped in the political arena. As long as there are enough people to form something like the BNP, there will be extreme organizations (although I don't mean to compare militant gays to the BNP!)
I am not a militant person by nature, and soft-sell my gayness to the point of still having a foot (or a leg) in the closet; but I remember well that it was drag-Queens who were the first to riot at Stonewall - the gay men who couldn't "pass", who had nothing more to lose, and decided they were not going to take it any more.
All the best,
--Lorenzo from Firenze
P.S. - posting a response on this blog site is NOT easy! They make the ID thing difficult.
like Lorenzo your sexuality was a mystery to me and that's quite often how it should be. what turns people on is their own business. Be proud of who you are - all of you, your kindness, your friendliness, your professionalism, your acting and singing skill, that you are a loving son and brother, and someone many people want to share time with in any way.
ReplyDeleteGet down and funky at pride if you want to - it's a great day out - but so is guy fawkes day, and you don't have to immolate yourself to enjoy that !!