Bad Dates, Good Dates.

I'm not saying I'm perfect;

In fact I'm far from it;

I'm just saying I'm worth it.

Unknown

I've now been on the online dating scene for about a month. I don't want to blow my own trumpet too much, but I've had much more attention on my chosen site than I thought I would. Perhaps its that photo which has just the right amount of light (aka, very little) to make me look even vaguely passable. Perhaps its the practice I've had from writing this that has meant I can use overly flowery language and begin to sell myself a little bit. Or maybe, its just that there are a lot of people on this site that, like me, are just interested to meet as many people as they can. Whatever it is, I've certainly enjoyed chatting to a good few people. And receiving the odd 'Wink' is always exciting!

And, luckily, after wading through all the complete non-starters (my profile says max 30 guys, 72 is a little out of my age range!!) I've even managed to have some really great conversations that have developed into dates. Two dates with two guys that were, entirely, polar opposites. They both started well, a bit of banter developed over messaging; numbers were exchanged and texting ensued; dates and times for a meet-up were arranged. I was dressed up, nervous, excited equally by both of them. But, they couldn't have been different. I've changed names so as to save any embarrassment in case either decides to read this...

First there was James. James seemed really sweet, a bit of a geek like me, a gentleman. We exchanged a good few messages until I decided the time was right to set up a date and exchange numbers. He leapt at the chance. Over the coming week we sent each other a lot of texts, even briefly speaking on the phone. He seemed nice, possibly a little too nice. And keen. Boy was he keen. Probably a little too keen, but I was keen too so I let him off. As the day for our first date approached he let me know what he wanted to do; I was hoping for something interesting. No. A drink and dinner was all he could muster. I should have let him down then and there; I know its the standard idea but really - if you can't think of something better, its a worrying sign. But I decided to go for it, even if it wasn't good, at least I had some practice. I arrived at our meeting point, nervous, what if I didn't recognise him from his photo? But then I saw him and, my heart sank. I knew, immediately, I just wasn't attracted to him. I could have moved past this, but a forced and overly formal handshake later (really, we're both gay, a hug isn't inappropriate!!) and I just knew I wasn't on to a winner. Over a couple of drinks and dinner the conversation flowed easily, but it wasn't scintillating. He talked about work, I talked about work. He didn't ask any interesting questions, I tried but failed to get a response. I couldn't get away quicker. A terrible hug and quick peck on the cheek at the station and that was it; I knew I had to let him down. He text me to say he had a great time, I sent him that horrible 'you're just not for me' text. I didn't even get a reply. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible, he was a nice enough guy. But, god, not for me. Not for me at all.

I was disappointed. My first foray was a failure. Deflated and dejected I went back to the drawing board and started trying to find someone new to chat to. And then I stumbled across Adrian. He'd looked at my profile before, but I hadn't really registered him, I wish I had. His profile ad amused me, this was clearly someone who was laid back and just wanted to have fun. Interested, I sent him a wink, not expecting much. He replied the next day with a message. One line, 'How can you not like bananas you weirdo?' (anyone who knows me well enough will know what a trauma that devil fruit is to me) I laughed so much when I read it. I was sold. Not one other person had read my profile well enough to realise that what I really wanted was to be made to laugh, be put in my place and face sarcasm. I replied with something equally witty, and we were off. We exchanged numbers within a day, set up a date for two days time. This was exciting. I took the reigns, decided on something much more interesting - a picnic in a park (the sun's finally been shining in London so I wanted to make the most of it). He was pretty keen. So we decided to meet up and go buy food together first. I was nervous, really nervous, but so excited. And then I saw him, and I just thought - thank god, I'm actually attracted to this one!! The date couldn't have gone better - we laughed, we cut each other down, we shared interesting stories. He'd even brought me a little handmade gift. I did not want to leave. As it got cooler, we decided to move somewhere for a drink. We sat down, and I still couldn't leave. He made me laugh, he insulted me, he let me insult him. We bonded over a love of films, books, music. When I finally had to go I knew that this had been a good one. I was certain I wanted to see him again. I went home with a big grin on my face. Online dating had, hopefully, worked in at least introducing me to someone I might like to get to know better.

So folks, the moral of this story? If you want to do online dating - make sure you read a person's profile properly. Don't just send the 'Hi, How are you?' message. Send something personal, interesting, fun. You never know what you might end up with. And, for gods sake, be inventive with your date suggestions!!